If you ask adults what their lives revolve around, most would probably give you two answers: work and family. Given that work and family are potent sources of stress, a study was conducted to look at the sources of stress on working parents who juggle the demands of work and family.

This study surveyed and interviewed 371 Filipino working parents from various locations in Metro Manila. The results of the study revealed that for 76 percent of respondents, work was the main source of stress.

The most common work-related sources of stress are difficulty with boss, increasing time at work and away from family, demotion, and starting a new business or job.

Financial concerns include increasing expenses without increase in income; debt and major expenditures. Family and children are also potent sources of stress.

The most common family-related sources of stress are marriage, pregnancy, death in the family, sickness, building or moving residence, children’s school problems, marital problems and relationship problems with children. Unfortunately, the reality is that work is a necessity rather than a choice for many Filipinos.

Given the demands of a full-time job therefore, what can today’s working parents do?

Time management. The first step to achieving balance would be to assess one’s situation and priorities and manage time around these priorities. Constant crisis management and fire fighting is what causes stress and burnout. The more one spends on prevention and preparation, the less one needs to cram and beat deadlines. Avoid time wasters and block off time for uninterrupted work and family time. We need to decide our non-negotiables in terms of what is work and family time.

Be realistic about one’s expectations and goals. For the new generation of women, for example, we want to be perfect housewives and moms and yet be successful career women. This desire to have and do it all puts so much pressure on ourselves.

Delegate. Sharing one’s responsibilities is a good strategy especially within the home. Assigning children chores is a good way of teaching them responsibility and building their character. This may also mean re-negotiating roles and responsibilities with one’s spouse.

Be efficient. Multi-tasking is a buzz word in organizations than can be applied to the home as well. Combining and consolidating tasks may be more effective than trying to squeeze as many tasks as possible into the least amount of time.

Get support. Dealing with demands of family and work alone is a daunting task. Having co-workers and a boss who understands your priorities will go a long way. Explore flexitime, work-at-home option and other work-life balance programs your company offers. Trade overtime work duty or even some household errands with other working parents in the office.

Make time and space for yourself. In the midst of juggling demands of our family and work, we often run ourselves ragged yet wonder why our body lets us down.

Our greatest tool toward achieving work life balance is ourselves.

Practicing good eating habits, exercise, quiet time, rest and recreation are all essential to building our capability to handle our roles and responsibilities.

Get professional help when necessary. This study showed Filipinos are wary of seeing a counselor or psychologist for personal problems. This is unfortunate because there is value in seeking help from a professional especially when one is at the end of one’s rope.

Being a working parent today is difficult. If we are to succeed at home and at work, major adjustments need to be made both by working parents, their employers and their families. After all, both work and family are essential aspects of life and ultimately, the key is to find a win-win solution where we can be happy with both.

(Gina Hechanova is a faculty member of the Ateneo Department of Psychology and is the executive director of the Ateneo Center for Organization Research and Development (CORD). This article is an abridged version of a study featured in the Ateneo CORD’s book, “The Way We Work” (Ateneo de Manila University Press, 2005). For feedback, please e-mail ateneocord@admu.edu.ph.)