Families help children learn

(Last of three parts)

“From what your top college students say,” says Rosco, a family business patriarch, “I see why my apos are not learning much even if they are honor students in expensive private schools. I also see why Filipino students score at the bottom in world surveys. Your students are honest in their observations.”

“I am proud of our math majors,” I say, “and strive to help them grow. If adults speak the truth to young people, they reciprocate.”

“I studied in a public school before you were born,” says Rosco. “Our math and science are solid, so are our English, Filipino, history. I am dismayed by what’s happening now.

“We find it hard to get good employees,” he continues. “Even before the pandemic, many lack life skills. They read from slides but get flustered if we ask common-sense questions. They cry and quit when we point out things to improve. They don’t stay long in a job. We care for mental health, but some neglect tasks without accountability. Schools are very accommodating to students in many ways, but at work, employees need to deliver.”

“Some students with depression and anxiety are inspiring (see: ‘A sense of purpose,’ July 2, 2020),” I say. “But we advise those with severe mental health issues to take a leave and prioritize healing, not academics. Dialogue with your people to craft policies reasonable for both employee and employer.”

“I will talk to HR,” says Rosco. “Now how can my apo learn better, especially math?”

“Learning is not solely the responsibility of schools,” I say. “Our studies on the best practices of public and private school achievers reveal the essential role of families in setting structure and guiding children to truly learn. Today, my students offer similar suggestions, based on their own experience and those of the Cardona public-school parents they dialogued with.”

“Parental involvement is incredibly important,” say my students. “Many of us did well in math because our parents guided us, not by doing the work for us, but by drilling us in multiplication, tutoring us in geometry, telling us not to give up. The Cardona parents are busy, but they make time to answer their children’s questions and give support. They use math in their daily lives, in sewing jobs, household budgets. Help children see the relevance of math [and learning] in life.

“Negative memes and jokes discourage Filipinos, but anyone who works hard can do math and science. Stereotypes, such as ‘math is only for boys,’ are harmful. In math contests, most contestants are male. In last year’s Philippine Statistics Quiz (PSQ) for college students, there were only three females.” (My student Patricia Angelica Tan won the PSQ.)

Growth mindset

“Homes or schools that instill a fixed mindset are detrimental,” say my students. “Parents and teachers should pique student interest and maintain morale with constant feedback and support. Rather than praising children’s grades, encourage effort. Instead of talking about math genes or natural talent, say that it’s okay to make mistakes and try again.

“Kids’ perspective about education is mostly influenced by parents. If parents pressure them to get high grades more than learn well, they become very grade-conscious. Many cheat to avoid parents’ anger at low marks.

“Some of us have tutored students who do not want to do math exercises. They do not believe they can improve—and they also do not really want to improve in the first place. No matter how effective the program or the teacher, if students are not willing to learn from mistakes, they will never improve.

“Rather than competing, learning together with motivated people makes it more enjoyable. We bring each other up and inspire one another to be the best we can be. Belonging to a gritty [group] culture influences our identity of being gritty, pushing us to struggle through. Encourage cooperation rather than competition.

“Raising awareness is not enough—we need a growth-mindset movement among the youth, families, schools, society.” INQ

Queena N. Lee-Chua is with the board of directors of Ateneo’s Family Business Center. Get her book “All in the Family Business” at Lazada or Shopee, or the ebook at Amazon, Google Play, Apple iBooks. Contact the author at [email protected].