When a man loves a woman, and back

Question: You have probably been asked this question so many times. But is there an ideal way for and my wife to manage our finances?

Answer: In training seminars I hold for employees, I always ask who among the males in the audience can say with confidence that they are the decision makers when it comes to the daily expenses of the family. And invariably, very few males say they are in charge. To those who say they are, I jokingly reply to them that they are the stuff of myths.

Let me provide real life examples of how your love for your wife will help you manage your finances without you feeling emasculated. But you first need to understand the psyche of women.

Women are said to possess this uncanny ability to perceive many shades of one color. It was a trait they’ve had from as early as the time of the caveman, as they were the foragers who needed a system to differentiate between what was edible and what was poisonous.

It is you and me against the world (of marketers). Marketers use women’s color perception superpower against them like it was kryptonite. Marketers can come up with many color shades to trick women into buying more of even just one design. So, when your wife goes shopping and says that a pair of shoes is different from another because one pair is baby pink while the other is fuchsia, do not argue. Instead, simply ask her if she doesn’t think that one pair is more of a hibiscus shade. Don’t be a low life who is taunting strife. A happy wife leads to a happy life. And beware, as it will cut like a knife when she is out of your life.

Traffic app

Do not even bother busting out a traffic app to plan your route through the maze that are grocery aisles. Again, the myriad of colors applied to packaging is used like kryptonite against women. Groceries will have you going around in circles, from frozen foods to canned goods, to toiletries, to baking ingredients, to dry goods and then back to square one. But believe you me, there is order in that seeming navigational chaos. As for you, just go back in time to when you were a child zipping through imaginary slaloms on a race car of a grocery cart.

Brace yourself when you visit membership warehouses where anything from imported snacks to big-screen TVs and car tires are sold. Everything in those stores is eye candy. All of a sudden, you find yourself buying stuff that you do not really need only because they are cheaper there than in regular stores. At times, the cash flow hurts because you can only avail yourself of the lower prices via volume purchases. So, how do you dull the pain? Tell yourself that you are getting savings albeit imaginary ones. Oh and beware of the after-cashier informal Italian dining sections where you can gorge on pizzas, spaghetti and meatballs; comfort food for the weary shopper.

Now do not for one moment think that you are a miser when it comes to spending money. Admit it, you love the toys for the big boys. You may shop infrequently. But when you do shop, many times it tends to break the bank. If you are musically inclined, you may have suffered from G.A.S. (gear acquisition syndrome) in acquiring that vintage electric guitar, the warm tones of a tube amplifier, the elusive guitar hero sound of pedals and what-nots.

Or if you are fond of home theater systems, you may have set up your living room or den with an 8K/60Hz receiver with HDCP 2.3 compliant HDMI inputs and outputs that also supports Dolby Atmos, DTS:X, DTS Neo:X, DTS Virtual:X, and Dolby TrueHD surround sound technologies, along with MP3, WMA, AAC, ALAC and FLAC file formats.

Expensive treatments

You may complain that your wife gets expensive hair salon treatments. But those are infrequent. On the contrary, you get frequent haircuts that when you total their cost, the amount comes up to almost the same as your wife’s salon treatments.

Seriously, the best way to manage your finances is to accept that you each have your own Waterloos when it comes to spending money. So, come up with sustainable and I dare say, nonauditable confidential intelligence funds from your excess earnings to finance those weaknesses especially during the holidays. Treat excess earnings like the cash dividends that companies pay to their shareholders, dividends that shareholders can spend any way they like.

And how do you determine your level of excess funds? Compute and set aside first the amount of funds you will need to reinvest in earning assets, including your further adult learning, to better and/or earlier hit your long-term goals like funding children’s education, home acquisition, major vacation travels and retirement.

A business will cease to grow and eventually be run to the ground if it does not retain net income for reinvestment in its operations. Your household finances are no different. INQ

Send questions via “Ask a Friend, Ask Efren” free service at www.personalfinance.ph, SMS, Viber, Twitter, LinkedIn, WhatsApp, Instagram and Facebook.

Efren Ll. Cruz is a registered financial planner and director of RFP® Philippines, seasoned investment adviser, bestselling author of personal finance books and a Yaman Coach. To consult with a Yaman Coach, email [email protected]. To learn more about personal financial planning, attend the 99th RFP Program this January 2023. To inquire, e-mail [email protected] or text 09176248110.