A salute to hero widows
Question: My friend just lost her husband. She is distraught. But at the same time, she knows she needs to toughen up for her family. What advice can I share with her? Asked at “Ask a Friend, Ask Efren” free service at www.personalfinance.ph, SMS, Viber, Twitter, LinkedIn, WhatsApp, Instagram and Facebook.
Answer: Why not relate to her this story.
We catch up with a woman writing a letter to her husband who was recently called from this life. Let’s be nosy and look over her shoulder.
“Honey, the children are growing up so fast. Our son just turned into a teenager and has started to become more opinionated. Yet, he practices what you taught him about showing respect for parents, as well as for girls whom he has also developed interest.
He is not the brightest in his class. But his grades are respectable. He studies for two to three hours at home, just like you taught him. He also spends some time on the internet but more on social media to chat with his friends. He is happy borrowing my tablet for now. He says he doesn’t really need his own. Although, he hints about how “cool” it would be to have his own when he turns 18. I thank you for teaching him the values of patience and contentment.
Our daughter is still our sweet ‘bunso.’ At six, she is my tail, following me around and obeying whatever I tell her to do. In her eyes I see you, the ever-jolly person who doesn’t seem to have a concern in the world; always smiling; always effortlessly caring for others. Every night, before we go to sleep, she says a prayer for you and tells me how much she misses you. I try to hide it but sometimes, I cannot help being teary-eyed in front of her.
As for me, I am struggling with my new job while being a single parent. It’s a good thing Mommy is still able to help me in taking care of our home while I am at work.
The challenges at work are mind-numbing to say the least what with all the deadlines. To top it all, I need to deal with coworkers of different temperaments. You know how alien this is to me, having been a stay-at-home mom for most of our marriage. How I wish you were here to help me solve my daily worries at the speed of a text or the convenience of a phone call. But I know such technology is obsolete where you are.
Fortunately, the money you left us, coupled with the proceeds of your insurance policy have and will continue to support us until our income is much more stable. I cannot imagine how we could have managed without your precious gift. And now I understand why you fought hard to set aside money for the premiums in our family budget. Now, I preach this to my coparents at our children’s school and also to my coworkers.
Mommy asks me why I still write to you when you cannot even receive my letters. I tell her that I keep all of these letters in a mini-safe. When the time comes, I will tell our children where the safe is and ask them to read the contents. At that time, it will be my turn to impart lessons to them, lessons on perseverance and selflessness.
For now, writing to you is as close as I can get to feeling your presence. Even now I know that you are looking down on us from where you are, interceding for us. And I find strength in knowing that we will be together again, one sweet day.”
Efren Ll. Cruz is a registered financial planner and director of RFP® Philippines, seasoned investment adviser, bestselling author of personal finance books in the Philippines and a YAMAN Coach™. To consult with a YAMAN Coach™, email [email protected]. To learn more about personal financial planning, attend the 94th RFP Program this March 2022. To inquire, email [email protected] or text at 0917-6248110
Copyright 2022 Efren Ll. Cruz, RFP®. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed without the prior written consent of the author.
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