Overcoming imposter syndrome, part 2

(Last of two parts)

Last Aug. 10, 2023, the American Chamber of Commerce organized a forum for women leaders to manage imposter syndrome in order to “foster support and collaboration, inspire and motivate them to embrace their authentic leadership style and reach their full potential.”

Together with copanelists Connected Women AI’s Gina Romero and Mansmith and Fielders’ Chiqui Escareal-Go, I discussed practical strategies to manage imposter syndrome, some of which were published in the column last week: Acknowledge facts and celebrate successes, rather than downplaying them. Let go of unrealistic perfectionist tendencies, which increase stress and anxiety.

Confide in people you trust and respect, but “be strategic about who you share with,” says psychologist Chris Palmer in the journal Monitor in Psychology.

“Airing impostor struggles with peers can promote comparison and increase impostor phenomenon, but venting to trusted individuals … can provide a more helpful picture of your accomplishments and value.”

Stop overthinking and keep failure in perspective

“Last year I generated very good numbers for our division,” says my former student P, who is now working for the marketing department of a conglomerate. “I got a big bonus and the big boss came over to shake my hand. I wanted a repeat, so I started overthinking: which strategy did I use, what brands worked, even what color of dress I was wearing when I did well. Nothing worked, and my numbers are down. I will still get a bonus, but when the big boss was with me in the elevator, he did not even look at me. I feel like such a failure. Tsamba lang noon (That was just luck). I cannot replicate my past success. I should leave and get another job.”

“Despite your numbers this year, do you like what you do?” I ask.

“Oh yes,” says P. “I get along with my coworkers, and my immediate superior is nice. When I was feeling down, he consoled me by saying that not everyone can hit it out of the ballpark every time.”

“He is right,” I say.

“But I really have to succeed,” says P. “And it is not just about the bonus. I don’t want to let the company, and the big boss, down.”

“Did the big boss tell you that personally?” I ask.

“Of course not,” says P, “but he has a tough reputation. I could not sleep thinking about the what-ifs and the buts.”

“Stop ruminating,” I say. “Overthinking goes hand-in-hand with imposter syndrome. My students say that when they overthink, they drive themselves crazy and then burn out.”

“I am getting sick all the time,” says P. “I am burnt out.”

“Instead of overthinking, talk to your coworkers or your superior about what strategies can work. But I doubt that your colleagues are succeeding all the time, either. Do you know of anyone who always wins?”

“The big boss?” says P.

“The big boss founded the business that now bears his name, but his first few businesses folded up,” I say. “Google his life story. He learned from his mistakes, and that is why he is successful now. To stay sane in business, accept the downs as well as the ups. Failures are a part of life, and the important thing is to rise above—rather than dwell on—them.”

Find purpose and embrace growth

Whether we are driven by fear, anxiety, a desire to look good, or whatnot, we need to ask ourselves: What is our purpose? Why do we do what we do?

Finding meaning in our work, especially if the purpose is to help others, helps us overcome imposter syndrome, because such mindfulness takes us beyond the self. Rather than overthinking, indulging in self-pity, or obsessing inwardly, it is more liberating to free ourselves from perfectionism and performance, which can be done when we prioritize what we do can benefit others. Knowing that what we do matters enables us to rise above repeated setbacks and do our best, regardless of the immediate outcome.

The only way to grow is to embrace challenges outside our comfort zone. Work, like life, is a journey; it’s a marathon rather than a sprint.