Lessons from ‘Alice Through the Looking Glass’

“The last thing I want to be is you,” Alice tells her mother, upon learning the latter had given her share of her father’s company to an enemy.

Her beloved father is dead, her mother retorts.  She has done what she believes what’s best for Alice.

When his father Zanik admonishes him for not having the discipline to be a hatter, Tarrant Hightopp (the Mad Hatter) stalks off angry, saying he does not want to be his dad.

Sound familiar?  While the movie “Alice Through the Looking Glass” is based on Lewis Carroll’s sequel to the popular Wonderland adventure-fantasy, it also gives insights into family businesses.

Communicate effectively

As a child, Tarrant was enthusiastic about joining the family enterprise, bringing Alice as a customer to his father, the official hatter to the royal family.

Steeped in tradition, Zanik reminds his son that hatting is a serious business.  Hats are supposed to give people dignity, not frivolity.  When Tarrant presents him with a whimsical blue hat, his father accidentally tears it and throws it in the trash can, leaving his son in tears.

What Tarrant does not know is that afterwards, his father picks up the hat and keeps it close to his heart.

Misunderstandings between parents and children can be minimized if elders, aside from disciplining the next generation, also take the effort to be open to new ideas and show young ones how much they truly care.

Similarly, instead of immediately taking things to heart, problems can be avoided if younger generations try to look beyond their elders’ gruff and stiff exterior, and realize that often, the way their parents show love is to correct them, in the hope they would be worthy successors.

Only when Alice realizes that her mother has tried her best to keep things afloat while she was gone does she stop blaming her parent for putting their legacy in danger.

Only when Alice’s mother recognizes her daughter’s passion lies in following her father’s path as a sea captain, however, reckless it might seem in Old England, does she have the courage to fight for what is right.

Fittingly, mother and daughter throw off the yoke of the old family business, and decide to set out on their own, competing with the enemy.

Reconcile with the past

Iracebeth the Red Queen and her sister, Mirana the White Queen, have grown up to be bitter rivals, waging war in the original “Alice in Wonderland” movie.

Their sibling rivalry started when they were kids.  Their mother had ordered them to stop eating tarts, but Mirana took the last piece, kicking the crumbs under Iracebeth’s bed.  When their mother confronted them both, Mirana denied eating the tart.

Iracebeth ran out crying, and hit her head on a statue, causing her head to swell, and her heart to forever seek revenge against her sister.

When siblings in family businesses do not get along, more often than not, their troubles stem from small childhood hurts, which over time, metastasize to huge issues.

When parents are perceived to play favorites, whether or not they mean to do so, sibling rivalry worsens. Even if her parents love her, Iracebeth believes Mirana is the favored one.

“No one loves me,” she says.

Only when Mirana finally apologizes do they reconcile.

“[An apology] is the only thing I’ve been waiting for,” Iracebeth says.

Inculcate family values

A family business has the best chance of avoiding the three-generation curse when the values of founders are communicated, transmitted, and inculcated in successors.

The former Lord Ascot was a friend of Alice’s father, and the two collaborated on a seafaring business.  However, the elder Ascot neglected to pass on his kindness, patience and wisdom to his son Hamish, who, when his father passed away, showed his true colors.

Boorish and selfish, Hamish was not respected by employees and associates, with a longtime retainer choosing to finally work with Alice and her mother in their new business.

Many founders are frugal and persevering, visionary and disciplined.  But they are often so lost in work they fail to pass on these values to their children.

Succession becomes problematic when the next generation not only squander away wealth, but also besmirch the family name.

A family constitution, with articulated values, vision and mission, is invaluable.  If Alice’s and Hamish’s fathers had worked one out, the problems between their heirs might have been avoided altogether.

“Alice Through the Looking Glass” is currently in theaters.

Queena N. Lee-Chua is on the board of directors of Ateneo de Manila University’s Family Business Development Center.  Get her book “Successful Family Businesses” at the University Press (e-mail [email protected]). E-mail the author at [email protected].