Leading, managing yourself toward personal excellence

It has always been said that leadership starts with knowing oneself.

But self-discovery is perceived as more of a process to improve oneself to prepare for relationships and other personal matters, not necessarily matters of the workplace.

However, the success or failure of a business may also depend on the personal background of the people involved.

Experts say that our experiences, even those from childhood, are brought unknowingly to the workplace.

So we have to take a few steps back and assess why we behave a certain way in specific situations, or even why we go into business with a mindset different from that of others.

Anna Esperanza, a licensed Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP) practitioner, can help explain the reasons behind certain behavioral tendencies.

Esperanza has extensive knowledge of brand management, new product development, marketing communications, program management, organizational development and organizational counseling.

She has 18 years of experience working in several non-profit, faith-based and social change institutions, as well as various corporate industries such as education, retail, government, finance, hotel, healthcare, telecommunications and food and beverage.

We asked readers to send questions about self-awareness and its relationship with leadership.

Here, Anna Esperanza shares her insights:

Q1: What is the importance of having self-awareness in order to achieve excellence?

It is important to have self-awareness because it will help you manage yourself better.

When you know how to manage yourself, you know when to react and when not to react. This is like enhancing your inner compass.

For example, if you know the situation that is really stressful on your part, you can plan ahead.

If you know what are your trigger points or patterns of behavior then you would know whom to avoid, what to avoid, and when to do it and when not to do it.

In other words, planning your life or your situation would be easier because you know what you can do and what you cannot do.

One of the things that we have to remember in leadership is that we can never control the situation, our team members, clients and life’s curve balls.

One thing that we can control is how we will react to the situations. And for you to know how are we going to react, what we need to do is to be self-aware.

For example, if I already know that it will take me 30 minutes to do a particular task and that I need to focus on this, and that I also have 30 other things that I need to do but then I could do these things in only 15 minutes.

If I am not self-aware, I would just do things which come first. But if I know myself that I can do it in 15 minutes or 30 minutes, I can better manage myself and mind better. Productivity will then increase.

Q: How does one’s personality, life experiences, and family background affect leadership style?

When it comes to the family, the things that are ingrained in you become second nature.

There is such a thing as “automatic responses” based on what we are used to (in Filipino “mga nakagawian” or “nakasanayan”).

So if you are raised in a family where the members are doers, then you will likely hear your parents telling you that if you want something to be done right, you should do it yourself.

Mostly likely, you will grow up to become a doer at work. So how are you going to manage?

You will have a problem delegating and assigning tasks because you are so used to doing things on your own. It is also the way you are raised where you will form your own values, perceptions and beliefs.

So based on these values, perceptions, and beliefs, this is how you are going to make decisions when you become a leader. For instance, in business opportunities, will you just be after the bottom line?

If your family is about end results, then you will most likely decide based on end results or the bottom line.

But when your family is used to deciding, for example, are we going to a party? But they will say oh, maybe not, because Astrud will go to the ballet or Arvin needs to do something and you start considering all the family members.

You know when you become a decision maker when you’re older, you will be the type of person who will include, in terms of your decision, all the other factors (people, scenario/situation).

That’s why the way you respond and the way you are raised (i.e. family background) are important so that you will know more or less what are your predisposed traits.

Q: What is leading with a purpose?

Leading with a purpose is knowing your life direction. It’s like going to a place.

For example, you want to go north but you don’t know that you’re supposed to go to Baguio, then what will happen to you? You will waste gas, time, energy, effort and you will feel that you are just going around but there’s no clear destination.

Basically, that’s leading with a purpose is to know why you are leading and why you want to do things so that you will be able to know the meaning of your life, and then you will find fulfillment because if there is no meaning in what you do, then you lose your motivation, your purpose.

When these things happen, performance is affected.

Aside from that, when you lead with a purpose, you lead and navigate your own self and your own career.

For example, after being self-aware, you know that you want to be in the business that will help sustain other people when it comes to economic stability.

Then, you will know that you will always align decisions in choosing the company, like how can you meet your personal objectives or your personal desires in line with your company or in line with the work that you are doing.

But if you are just doing things without understanding what you do and why you are doing it and not having passion doing it, then you just end up achieving day-to-day tasks with no long-term effects, goals or achievements.

In the end, as a leader, you can’t also motivate other people if you yourself is not motivated. You can’t explain to them the meaning of their work if you yourself don’t know it in the first place.

(Anna Esperanza will be the resource speaker for the professional workshop on

“Intra-personal Development: Leading and managing yourself toward personal excellence”, which will be held from Sept. 29-30, 2015 at the Inquirer Academy Building, Chino Roces Avenue corner Ponte Street, Makati City.)

The professional workshop is brought to you by the Inquirer Academy and is ideal for CEOs, department heads, managers, supervisors, team leaders and entrepreneurs.

To know more about the workshop or the resource speaker, you may write to [email protected] or call 834-1557.

Inquirer Academy is the learning center for professionals who want to get ahead, be ahead and contribute to society.