Career advice for those over the hill but wanting fun and meaning
Ludy, my high school friend and classmate, now a practicing lawyer in Maryland, USA, emailed her classmates about “a tiny speck of cholesterol in the vein in my eye.” She was advised by her doctor to have MRI of the brain and see a heart specialist to check for plaques that could accumulate and cause a heart attack or stroke.
Ludy never felt any symptom, but said “my good Retina Specialist who’s been attending to me since 1988 found a very little cholesterol-like dot in the vein in my left eye. This is again God’s reminder that at our age we are vulnerable to all health issues.”
Symptoms
Generally, people (perhaps, including me) are unmindful of their own aging. In the wedding of one of my kids, I don’t remember now which one, they played Sunrise, Sunset from the movie and musical Fiddler on the Roof. Something hit me when Topol sang, “Is this the little girl I carry? Is this the little boy at play? I don’t remember growing older; when did they?”
Since then, I became more conscious that I wasn’t getting any younger. I’m a voracious reader, and I notice that printers are using smaller types these days. The printing looks fuzzy and I have to hold what I’m reading at arm’s length to focus properly. People seem to be talking softer, too. I keep asking them to repeat what they say. Sometimes, I just nod my head when I can’t understand what they’re saying. Shoelaces are harder to tie, my pants and shirts are shrinking, and food has become more sweet, salty, oily and fattening.
My poker buddies are getting old very fast – Jim Castro is 86 & Dodie Rondain is 84 – no wonder I often win because they forget the deal. My friends and I now seldom talk about the weather – our new vocabulary includes arthritis, Alzheimer’s, cellulite, varicose veins & pacemakers. My friends never liked advertisements, but some have began to appreciate commercials for hemorrhoids, hair loss, & constipation remedies. Worse, they started buying those stuffs. Discussions about culture have long shifted from organizational culture to arts & humanities, to stool culture. You can’t watch us Nae Nae; we prefer Sweet & Very Sweet.
Those were the days
These days, many things have changed in context and meaning. I was reading a book by Bob Phillips that reminded me I’m old. During our heydays, “hardware” was a store where you buy nails and electrical supplies, not computer equipment. “Enter” was a sign on the door, not what you press in the laptop’s keyboard. You heard “rock music” when grandma sang a lullaby for you in a rocking chair, not what Bruce Springsteen blurts out. (Even my example is dated.)
Pills made you well when you’re sick, not something to prevent unwanted pregnancy. Grass was for mowing, not to keep you hallucinating. Coke was a refreshing soda, not an upper. Pot was where you cooked, not something you smoke. Aids were helpers, not a deadly disease.
Over the hill
Leonard L. Knott said, “You’re over the hill when you try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you’re not wearing any.”
Just look around you and you’ll notice many other telltale signs. When styles come back, you still have some left the first time around. You don’t have to buy revival music because you still have the original in your long-playing albums. You relish telling stories about the good old days, and no one is qualified to call you a liar. You fall asleep while watching Spielberg’s Jurassic World, but totally love watching “Alfred Hitchcock Presents”, a 1959 TV series in black and white. Sometimes, it takes you 15 minutes just to locate the remote control. You’re bothered that 90% of your dreams are reruns, and in black & white, too.
Age and Wisdom
Sir Walter Scott once wrote, “I have often noticed that a kindly, placid good humor is the companion of longevity and, I suspect, frequently the leading cause of it.”
Old age is not exactly bad, especially if you consider the alternative. If my memory serves me right, it was the lovable late French actor Maurice Chevalier who said that. But as we age, it isn’t enough to boast that we’ve reached 90. Some people reach 90 with nothing to brag about except how pleased they are to be 90. William Ernest Hocking says, “I find that a man is as old as his work. If his work keeps him moving forward, he will look forward with the work.”
Some people never seem to grow old because they simply keep taking on new thoughts and throwing away old habits. It was Viktor Frankl who said that the people who survive are those who still have something significant to do in the future. I like old people who continue to be passionate. However, I notice that when they were young, they wanted to change the world. When they got old, they wanted to change the young.
Sometimes, you have to bear with old people. They can often be confusing. Robert Fulghum wrote a now famous book, “All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten.” On the other hand, George Clemenceau declared, “Everything I know I learned after I was 30.”
All I know is that life is too short. You only have so much time. Start learning as early as you can. Write your bucket list and achieve what you want starting 20 when you have the energy. After 30, you’ll have a different perspective. Between 40 and 60, better attempt all the challenges when you have more time and money, but less energy. The natural falling off in vitality, vim, and vigor can start at 50 and could carry you rapidly downward. Between 60 and 70, things begin to change dramatically – and physically. So grow up as fast as you can, and live life to the fullest between 30 and 60.
When you’re past 60 and you think you’re over the hill, heed Cicero’s words, “Not by physical force, not by bodily swiftness and agility, are great things accomplished, but by deliberation, authority, and judgment – qualities with which old age is abundantly provided.”
Douglas MacArthur had great convictions, “I promise to keep on living as though I expected to live forever. Nobody grows old by merely living a number of years. People grow old only by deserting their ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up interest wrinkles the soul.”
Prayer
Senior citizens of the world must commend the writer of this prayer. “Lord, You know better than I know myself that I am growing older. Keep me from getting too talkative, and thinking that I must say something on every subject and on every occasion. Release me from craving to straighten out everybody’s affairs. Teach me the glorious lesson that occasionally it is possible that I may be mistaken. Make me thoughtful, but not moody; helpful, but not bossy. For you know, Lord, that I want a few more friends at the end.”
Old age catches up with all, unless they go early. The young must aspire for significance, not just success. The elderly must not worry about the years in their life, but do everything to add life to their years.
(Ernie is the 2013 Executive Director and 1999 President of the People Management Association of the Philippines (PMAP); Chair of the AMCHAM Human Capital Committee; and Co-Chair of ECOP’s TWG on Labor and Social Policy Issues. He also chairs the Accreditation Council for the PMAP Society of Fellows in People Management. He is President and CEO of EC Business Solutions and Career Center. Contact him at [email protected])
