MANILA, Philippines — I remember a poster hanging in the Human Resources interview room at Kraft.
It carried a rather amusing warning: “Don’t ask about work-life balance. There ain’t any.”
READ: The myth of work-life balance
We laughed about it then.
We worked long hours, traveled a lot and measured success by results. There were targets to meet, businesses to grow and careers to build.
Looking back, I realize there was more truth in that poster than we thought.
At 40, I was very much into my career. I believed in hard work, discipline, ambition and doing my best. I still do.
Now, nearing 80, I realize there are many things about life I wish I had understood then.
Of course, I do not regret my career! It gave me opportunities, friendships, experiences and many good memories.
But life teaches us things that no business school ever can.
1. Health is wealth. Period.
We hear this so often that we hardly think about it.
At 62, I suffered a stroke that almost cost me my life. Suddenly, all the business problems that had seemed so important became very small. I had spent years managing risks in business, but I had taken my own health for granted. We insure our homes, cars and businesses. We prepare for all kinds of emergencies. Yet how much attention do we give to our health?
Without good health, it becomes harder to enjoy everything else we work for.
2. Faith is something we live.
After my stroke and retirement, I found more time for Church work and for my brother lay ministers. I especially look forward to Saturdays. I bring Holy Communion to two people who can no longer attend Mass, then I return home and bring the Eucharist to my wife, Winda.
It is a simple routine, but it gives me a great deal of joy.
There was a time when Saturdays might have been spent thinking about work or preparing for the week ahead.
Today, I find fulfillment in a different way. Purpose comes not from what we achieve for ourselves, but from what we are able to do for others.
3. Work hard, but don’t forget to live.
There is nothing wrong with ambition. I still believe in setting high standards and working hard for worthwhile goals.
But work can easily take over.
At 40, it is easy to believe that the next promotion, the next assignment or the next achievement will finally make us satisfied.
Then we get there, and another goal appears.
Work-life balance does not mean giving equal time to everything. It means knowing what matters and making room for it.
Focus is important. But there has to be something beyond work.
4. Family deserves more than what is left over.
We often tell ourselves we are working hard for our families. And usually, that is true.
But providing for the family and being present for the family are not the same thing.
Children grow up quickly. Parents get older. And many of the moments we value later are the ordinary ones we hardly noticed at the time.
Looking back, I remember the family trips, meals together, conversations and simply being around each other.
Those memories now mean more to me than many of the business achievements I once thought were so important.
5. A title gives authority, not respect.
I worked with many good executives during my career.
I also met some who seemed to think that once they had the title, respect would automatically follow.
It does not.
A title gives you authority. Respect has to be earned by how you deal with people—with fairness, kindness and compassion.
People may forget the targets you achieved or the position you held. But they remember how you treated them, especially when things were difficult.
In the end, leadership is also about what happened to the people who worked with you. Did they grow? Did they become better? Did they become leaders themselves?
6. Relationships matter more as the years pass.
As we get older, achievements begin to matter less than the people we have shared our lives with.
What I value most now are the relationships that have lasted through the years.
Some colleagues have become lifelong friends.
Many stood by me during difficult times. Others remained part of my life long after the jobs had ended.
I have come to believe that one of the best measures of a good life is the quality of the relationships we build along the way.
7. Find your ‘ikigai.’
And accept that it can change.
The Japanese have a word, “ikigai.” It means our reason for being, or what makes life worth living.
At 40, much of my sense of purpose came from work. I had responsibilities, challenges and goals. That was enough for me then.
But life changes.
My stroke at 62 changed mine.
READ: Philippines struggles with work-life balance, ranks near the bottom in global survey
Today, I enjoy writing, serving on boards, exchanging ideas and sharing whatever experience I can.
But I also find great meaning in faith, family, friendships, work and service to others.
My ikigai did not disappear when my corporate career ended.
It simply changed.
A final thought
If I could sit down today with my 40-year-old self, I would not tell him to be less ambitious.
I would still tell him to work hard, aim high and make the most of every opportunity.
But I would also tell him to take care of his health, spend more time with his family, nurture friendships and make room for faith and service.
Success is worth pursuing. But it is not the only thing worth pursuing.
I would remind him that the real lesson is that life is not only about what we achieve. It is also about the people we love, the good we are able to do and whether we have learned to appreciate what really matters.
Maybe if I had understood that at 40, I would have lived a little differently.
But perhaps some lessons only make sense after we have lived long enough to learn them. —CONTRIBUTED
(Pet Bautista held top leadership roles as president of San Miguel Brewing, San Miguel Foods, Kraft Foods and PT Warner Lambert Indonesia, as well as managing director of Universal Robina Corp. He is a recent recipient of the Mansmith CEO Lifetime Achievement Award.)