(Second of four parts)
Reader FS says that her daughter attempted suicide in high school and again in college now. Can troubled young people recover?
Yes. But rather than going through it alone, they rely on a support system, according to our Ateneo School of Science and Engineering Student Resilience Study, from which the following accounts are taken.
“My mother died when I was in Grade Nine,” says CC, a biology major. “There was not much conversation about mental health then. I did not know to go to a psychologist for therapy or a psychiatrist for depression. I spiraled down and only got diagnosed in Grade 12. It was hard, but family and friends cared so much that they pushed me to get help.”
To FS: Since previous suicide attempts are major risk factors for another, medication from psychiatrists are essential. But they are not enough. Your child needs therapy from clinical or counseling psychologists to equip her with mature coping strategies.
Her high school guidance counselor “was nice, but did not really help.” Guidance personnel are traditionally trained for career direction and personality assessment rather than crisis management. In Ateneo college, we have psychologists aside from counselors.
CC continues, “In the past, friends were my emotional outlet until it wasn’t healthy anymore. Through therapy, I learned how to manage my own emotions instead of dumping them on friends. Now I don’t need therapy as much because the skills I learned—taking care of myself and managing my emotions—I practice myself. Medication helps stabilize my moods. I have hope, and things get better.”
Teens often turn to friends who try to console. But wise peers know their limitations. Ranting is not enough, because individuals still do not have ways to cope. Sensible friends know how and when to support each other—and also when to seek professional help.
Faith also helps several students manage adversity. RA, an environmental science major, took his father’s demise calmly. But when his toddler nephew died, “it was a shock, and I plunged into depression.”
The family mourned together, united in their faith. “Our family believes that suffering is part of our existence in this world. St. Therese of Lisieux said, ‘Offer your sufferings at the foot of the cross.’”
When a beloved mentor also died, RA joined our community in grieving, and vowed to continue their work, in her honor. “You might lose your loved ones, but it’s your responsibility to carry on their memory. That helps me carry on.”
EG, a physics major, says, “In the past, psychological stress seriously affected me and I wanted to give up. Then I realized I already lost too much and needed to recover, so I consulted a psychiatrist and our parish counselor. I became active in church and kept busy in school. I cut off communication with stressors by deactivating social media. Church support, good friends and the school environment helped me recover. Although the past was not favorable, I thank God because it made me stronger.”
AF, a science education major, developed anxiety and depression due to bullying. She finally detached herself from her tormentors, and joined another peer group. “Only by distancing myself did I find peace, and gradually, my happiness and drive returned as I healed. Even if some people bully you, do not be afraid to be yourself because the good ones see the beauty in you. Invest in good relationships. Invest in prayer, take comfort in God, surrender your wounds to Him.”
To FS: Your daughter has “a loving family and friends,” so she is not bullied. But she tried suicide again when her boyfriend left her. Rejection is painful. But faith, plus the support of loved ones, can help her heal in time.
For how resilient students cope with mental health issues, get our book “Bouncing Back: Life and Learning in a Time of Crisis” from Lazada or Shopee.
(Next week: Talk Openly About Mental Health)