7 secrets to making 2023 your best year ever

ILLUSTRATION BY RUTH MACAPAGAL

As the “mentor of the giants,“ as Fortune has called me, and as a coach and consultant to the presidents of some of the world’s largest companies – plus countless medium to large companies across virtually all industries and on almost all continents – I know first-hand what it takes to create extraordinary successes.

Here are the seven steps to making 2023 your best year ever – for your personal life and your professional one.

1. Set one breakthrough goal

I have said this before, and it bears repeating, especially after having gone through so many yearend planning sessions with our clients recently. Most businesses and most individuals grossly underestimate the power of setting a clear breakthrough goal.

Clarity breeds focus. Focus builds success. Most people and organizations underestimate what they can achieve if they channel all their energies into one main thing.

You should create a big shiny image in your mind that will serve as your North Star. When you think of that image and of reaching that destination, you should feel excited and fed up with not being there already. Every fiber in your body should resonate with that image.

2. Learn from the best on how to motivate yourself

To reach goals, you need determination more than anything else. Most people underestimate the power of resolve and determination. The more determined you are, the more you will do whatever it takes to reach your destination.

But how do you motivate yourself? How do you build resolve and determination?

Most people misunderstand the secrets behind determination and motivation because they focus either on the goal or what they want to get away from.

Indeed, people generally fall into two categories: either they are more motivated by a “forward” movement, meaning toward a goal. Or they are motivated by an “away from” attitude, meaning they want to avoid something painful.

The secret, however, is to motivate yourself using both. This means that you need to create a big shiny goal to move toward, and also something that you are fed up with that you want to move away from.

Never underestimate the power of being fed up with what is. Once you lose the taste for what is, you can become determined to reach your next goals.

3. Balance the art of achievement with the art of fulfillment

This is not an easy one to master for most because they seem to be contradictory at first. How can you lose the taste for what is, motivate yourself to reach your breakthrough goal, and still be happy?

An American entrepreneur put it this way, “By setting a goal you make a deal with yourself to be unhappy till you reach it.” I disagree. In my work and interaction with Fortune 500 CEOs, billionaire entrepreneurs, world-famous artists, athletes, Nobel Laureates and world leaders such as the Dalai Lama, I see no contradiction between enjoying the ride and still being on your way to your next big thing. Growth, self-fulfillment, expansion, and development, are natural parts of nature. It does not mean you cannot smell the roses.

Smell the roses: I can assure you that, beyond a fundamental level, there is no correlation between happiness levels and conventional markers of success. This is based on my interactions with some of the wealthiest, most powerful, and most admired people in the world – including Fortune 500 CEOs and self-made billionaire entrepreneurs – as well as some of the poorest, most disadvantaged people in the remotest parts of the world.

However, no matter who you are, no matter where you are, making visions a reality is a fundamental component of happiness. Reaching goals and achieving objectives, this feeling of growth and expansion puts a smile on people’s faces.

Once you embark on a goal and become fully determined to reach it, you can – and should – still enjoy the journey. Life’s happiness unfolds every minute, every moment. You can reach for higher ground while still enjoying the moment.

That is the secret. Smelling the roses along the way, savoring them, creating magical moments for yourself, your friends, and your family – that is the secret to a happy life. And you can still be the most ambitious woman or man in the room. There is no contradiction.

4. Write down your ideal future

Create as clear a picture of your ideal future as possible. Write it down in as much detail as possible. Only with a clear vision of what you want will you be able to get there. This is true for all extraordinary high achievers I have ever had the pleasure to work with, and I recommend this to all my clients. The clearer the vision of what you want your life to be like – in all of its aspects – the faster you will get there. And the easier it will be for you to endure the challenges on the way.

Warning: My recommendation is not to share your vision with anyone, especially if you have very ambitious goals, unless you can be 100-percent convinced that they will support you. Why? Most people try to play it safe and want others to do the same not to remind them of their true greatness and potential and of what they actually could be doing with their lives.

5. Practice the champion’s attitude

Billionaire Warren Buffett, whose family I had the fortune to interact with, said he knew from an early age he was going to be rich. He never doubted it for even a second. That should be your ideal: to build an internal conviction that you will be 100 percent convinced that you will achieve your goal.
How do you do that? Constantly affirm to yourself that it is going to happen, no matter what. Become your best success coach.

6. Ignore the naysayers

I will let Steve Jobs lead the way on this one because he said it best.

In his now-famous Stanford University commencement speech in 2005, Steve Jobs said, “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most importantly, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.”
Don’t listen to the naysayers!

7. Eat the s… sandwich

One of our Asian clients recently came to us with a request, “Tom, can you please teach my people how to eat the s… sandwich?” What he meant was: whatever goal you want to accomplish, you have to pay a price. This price is pain, things you don’t want to do, sacrifices along the way, you name it.
The more you are willing to eat whatever s… sandwich life puts in front of you to reach your goal, the faster you will get there.

One of the most impressive s… sandwich eaters I have ever come across was a German CEO of one of the fastest-growing European tech firms. I was advising and coaching him on different areas, and he was ready to make a deal with himself to do things he absolutely hated for three years straight to reach his destination. The result? He made a successful exit after two and a half years, and can now happily live for the rest of his life doing what he loves to do.

Here is to your best year ever!

(Tom Oliver, a “global management guru” (Bloomberg), is the chair of The Tom Oliver Group, the trusted advisor and counselor to many of the world’s most influential family businesses, medium-sized enterprises, market leaders and global conglomerates. For more information and inquiries: www.TomOliverGroup.com or email [email protected].)