I never thought I would be laid off,” says C, 25, who worked in the sales department of a family business. “The boss blames the pandemic, but I don’t believe him. Some employees kept their jobs, and a few even got bonuses. I know I am smarter than they are, but due to office politics, the boss chose them over me. I wanted to complain directly to the business owners, but my mother told me to look for another company that will treat me better. Being laid off made me angry. I am not in the mood to look for another job, because I don’t trust anyone anymore. I’m not depressed or anything, but do you think I should go to a psychologist?”
My reply
Yes. Therapy is not only for people who have mental health issues such as depression, but for anyone who needs help navigating major crossroads in life. Even if you downplay the situation, being laid off is a huge source of stress. Thankfully, seeking help for emotional problems is no longer a stigma, particularly among your generation.
Office politics is unavoidable, and you need to learn how to handle it wisely (see “Help! I avoid office politics,” June 1, 2018). You are young—and this might be your first job—but your experiences will hopefully impart valuable lessons for your next position.
Don’t take this the wrong way, but a dose of humility helps. You say that you are smarter than your colleagues who managed to keep their jobs, but you need to realize that smarts are not everything.
Research shows that more than IQ, emotional intelligence (EQ) may be more important in life. Resilience, empathy, communication are more important than mere ability. On-the-job training enables employees to hone skills, but it does not guarantee that they get along with each other.
Moreover, a survey of sales associates (which was your previous role) by Jana Fallon and her team reveals that even more than intelligence, the trait of conscientiousness “predicted overall performance [and] supervisors’ willingness to rehire.”
Did you work hard? Were you a team player? Did you ease your boss’ burden? Only you can honestly answer these questions.
It is natural to be angry over being let go. You suffered a blow to your self-esteem.
In 2000, Gail Coover and Sheila Murphy followed adolescents for six years and discovered that “self-esteem, by itself, does not predict success,” says psychologist David Niven in his book “100 Simple Secrets of Successful People.”
“In fact, those with particularly high self-esteem are 265 percent more vulnerable to the consequences of failures and setbacks because of the devastating effect negative outcomes can have on their self-image,” Niven says.
You say you are not in the mood to look for a job. Yaacov Trope and Eva Pomerantz found that 70 percent of young adults faced with setbacks become defensive about their abilities and find it difficult to change their mindset in order to succeed.
But a growth mindset, grit and positive self-concept are integral to picking yourself up again.
“When layoffs are announced, everybody is disappointed,” says Niven. “But some people are overcome with woe while others are thinking of the next step. Self-image and acceptance of risk accounted for more than half of the reaction of workers who faced significant change in the workplace and were more important than the nature of the changes themselves.”
Your mother is right. Complaining to the business owners is not the way to go. If you had impressed them, they would have stopped the boss from laying you off.
At this point, engage in productive measures—ask your colleagues for leads (I hope you did not burn bridges), send out resumes, go for interviews. Talk to a therapist, reach out to friends and family for support, explore your strengths and foibles, and learn from the experience. God bless.
Queena N. Lee-Chua is with the board of directors of Ateneo’s Family Business Center. Get her book “All in the Family Business” via Lazada or Shopee, or the ebook via Amazon, Google Play, Apple iBooks. Contact the author at blessbook.chua@gmail.com