Win people by knowing their communication style
MANILA, Philippines—If you’re selling a car or a condo, a spiel that follows the classic formula of accurate information, clarity and brevity won’t work. It’s not what you say but what you don’t say that gets the message across.
Management consultant, facilitator and speaker Ben Ampil quotes studies as saying that in communication, words account for only seven percent; the tone of voice makes for 38 percent and the rest is body language. Hence, 93 percent of communication is non-verbal.
Likewise, it is also important to know the target consumer or individual’s communication style that is based on his dominant sensory perception if you want results.
If a person’s main communication style is verbal or sound or word-based, he is classified as “auditory,” and tends to be detail oriented. A “visual” person relates to images while a kinesthetic is more responsive to feelings or experiences.
“Each sense has a separate selling tool versus the old school where you memorize a spiel that goes across the board. We all know each individual is unique. You have to know their dominant sense and adapt to it. This is how to personalize,” says Ampil.
Take selling insurance. “If the person is auditory, I will show the annex of the net asset value over time. ’Your P1 now will be P1.25 next year. And, for the next 25 years, it will be P150,000. If you are visual, I will show you a chart. If you are kinesthetic I would start to translate it into a feeling, If you are 75 and don’t earn … How would you feel if you die and your loved ones are left with nothing?” says Ampil.
Setting goals
This is one aspect of neuro linguistic programming (NLP), a method to psychology that shows the link between the neuro or how the mental processes work; linguistics or how we express ourselves and how we apply language to affect our situations and programming, how we act and how we set goals to get results. It’s like a combination of positive thinking, creative visualization and body language-in a more sophisticated way.
NLP is utilized by people who want to achieve goals: be it a politician who aims to sway people to his viewpoint; an athlete who wants to beat his record; a boss who wants to improve the performance of his department; an actor who wants to conquer stage fright or feelings of inadequacy; or even a mother who tutors her child to get high grades.
“NLP is a set of tools that covers the range of leadership, management and peak performance under a unique set,” explains Ampil, who is one of the three certified NLP practitioners in the Philippines. Singled out for his three master’s degrees (economics, industrial economics and information technology) and work experience that range from management, sales, operations, planning and business development, he is a much-preferred speaker that it took this writer a month to nail him for an interview.
Over lunch at The Alpha, he observed how my tired eyes suddenly lit up like a little kid when Chef Billy King came up with an elegantly plated vegetable roll. I wasn’t even aware of my behavior.
Ampil went on to talk about involuntary or unconscious reactions and how they could be used, in tandem with other methods to affect change.
“NLP uses the language of the mind and the five senses. We experience reality through these senses; hence, we think it’s subconscious. How much of your physiology is conscious or voluntary? Ninety percent of the body function is unconscious, yet we think it everything is conscious.”
Ampil went on to explain how he could easily size up the dominant senses of people by their behavioral nuances. “Visual people talk fast, are time-conscious and mindful of how they look. Auditories are elegant in phrasing, as they particular about how they talk. They incline their ear. The kinesthetics talk slowly, pause to feel what you’re saying, dress comfortably and tend to be slouchy.”
These general cues can help adjust your communication style accordingly. “In sales, people have been taught with one script that’s given to everybody. I would tell them they could base their tactics by knowing the customer’s traits. If they are color-coordinated, walk straight and look at you, they are visual. The other extreme is the kinesthetic who swaggers and looks down while you’re talking. The customer who asks a lot of details is auditory. The visual person doesn’t like details. Your sales script has to suit the prospect,” he says.
In a car dealership, for instance, show the model first to the visual. To the kinesthetic, ask, ‘Would you like to test-drive?’ For the auditory, ‘Would you like to hear the engine?’”
Interpersonal relationships
It also applies to relationships. Ampil cites a company where the boss who sent an e-mail to his department for a job well done. Despite his good intentions, his department was assessed as having the lowest morale.
“He was not pushing the right buttons. If the employee is visual, give plaque. If a person is auditory, single him out in the crowd and praise him in front of everyone. If he is kinesthetic, give a pat on the back,” says Ampil.
“In communication, visuals will relate to examples on the white board. When addressing the auditory, be exact with your phrasing. To kinesthetics, you must explain why.” Ampil adds that in his lectures, he uses a thousand images since most of his audience tends to be dominantly visual.
“Communication is sensory. A visual person would say, ‘I see your point.’ An auditory would say, ‘I hear you.’ A kinesthetic would say, ‘I get a handle on that.’”
Those are nuances of each subordinate. If you know your boss is visual, do not go into details. If you give a 100-page report with an annex, he will throw in waste can. Give a one-page summary. An auditory or word-based boss will want annexes from A-Z. To the kinesthetic, make him understand the rationale behind it. To the auditory, phrase it well. An auditory boss would be more impressed with someone who has a gift of gab. What does this tell you? Be chameleon. The content is the same, but the communication style is different.”
Ampil points out the polar opposites between the visual and kinesthetic types. “If I am dealing with visual type, come on time and be direct to the point. No small talk. The kinesthetic person likes closeness. A visual person sees the map of future and is good for planning. He has urgency because he sees the image as part of a moving picture. If you tell a visual staffer to do something, there’s no need to explain. A kinesthetic won’t move unless he feels why he has to do it. Time is slow. But he is relational, peace loving and makes a good pacifier,” explains Ampil.
In team-building, the agitator tends to be the visual type. “He gets very impatient. I will get the kinesthetic person, the team player. Knowing the dominant traits of others will help you lead properly. If you say ‘I am the boss, follow me!’ that is myopic. You have to adjust to others to get your desired results.”
The same goes for behavioral change. How do you appeal to people to stop smoking? Make the auditory read literature. A visual would respond to images of blackened lungs. To the kinesthetic, Ampil tells the anecdote of a chain smoker who went to an NLP seminar. Instead of forbidding the person, the speaker told him to return the next day with a rim of cigarettes and his daughter. He told the smoker to smoke. As he spoke to the daughter, she wept. She went to the smoker and said, “You won’t be around for my graduation. You’ll die if you won’t stop.”
Attitude change
Aside from basic interpersonal communication skills, Ampil provides other techniques using mind power, imagination and sensory perceptions that animate what you’re visualizing. These methods consist of the uninhibited involvement of the client’s unconscious mind for getting into a desired condition that leads to a positive change in attitude and behavior.
A classic case is reducing the amount of resignations from a business process outsourcing (BPO). “The agents get screamed at, work at unholy hours and quit. The call center was concerned about the attrition rate. They spend millions in training. If I could lower that by one percent, they save millions,” says Ampil.
He taught them a technique called coding. “You are on the phone. The caller cannot hurt you. He’s just a voice, he curses you. It hurts. Why not associate it with something else. When fresh graduates attend their reunion, who among you are among the top earners? Call center agents earn P32,000 to P35,000 in the first month. But you work 8 p.m. to 8 a.m. You earn that much because the caller says the f-word. Go to the doctor and ask what’s the possible damage? None. It’s just a sound. Make them realize that their reaction is a choice. Who could curse you and make you laugh? A cartoon character perhaps. Associate it with something else that is nonthreatening.
“Reframe the very condition that you hate to the very condition that makes you among the top paid graduates and enable you to buy a new phone every month.”
Ultimately, Ampil says the call center agents conditioned themselves to laugh at hostilities in the workplace and the resignations decreased significantly.
Ampil summarizes neuro is the way you perceive things; linguistic is the way you use the words and interpret; programming is the reframing or changing how you react. Change begins with a thought.
(Ben Ampil is managing director of Amplius Management Consultancy, Suite 43-B Zeta Building, 191 Salcedo St., Salcedo Village, Makati. For details call 09175263020 and 09085239538. Visit the website at www.benampil.com. Email [email protected].)
