“NOBODY ever dies of making a mistake, saying the wrong thing, or acting upon a bad idea… assuming you’re not leaping off cliffs or jumping in front of trains,” said US psychologists Ryan Babineaux and John Krumboltz in their book “Fail Fast, Fail Often.” “Yet, living to avoid failure is a real killer—it destroys opportunities for new experiences and growth. The cruel irony of the fear of failure is that in attempting to avoid failure, people often act in ways that guarantee it.”
In the past weeks, we have looked at nine common excuses that family businesses use to stay stuck in a rut, even if they know that the need to adapt or to innovate is imperative. Whatever the excuse though, the most basic one, whether we acknowledge it to ourselves, is simple: fear of failure.
It is easier to stay in a disappointing marriage than to seek help from a counselor. It is less taxing to stay addicted to alcohol, nicotine and food rather than to start exercising. It is simpler to just let the family business function as it always has, rather than risk failure with new ideas.
Some people may claim they are not afraid of failures, but that they are just too tired to start, or that now is not the right time. Others say they have always been unlucky, and that they cannot control circumstances. Others say it is too difficult to learn new skills.
Failure in Disguise
“Fear of failure masks itself in many disguises: laziness, jealousy at the success of others, distraction, indecisiveness, doubt, caution,” added Babineaux and Krumboltz. “When you are worried about whether you have enough talent or intelligence, you tend to engage only in things that you know you are good at and that confirm your abilities, and avoid activities that might call into question your competence or expertise. Before trying something, you ask yourself: Is this something I will be good at? Will it show how I am smart, talented, and have what it takes to succeed?”
Many of us, especially successful people, ask ourselves the above questions because we cannot deal with failure of any form. We are perfectionists when it comes to work and family matters. Our children have to get honors and awards, we have to build the biggest house, we have to be number one in our line of business.
There is nothing wrong with aiming high, of course, except that no one can be on top all the time, or even most of the time. But the questions above limit us in many ways. One solution, since you are trying something new, is to begin with the attitude of a beginner.
“If you approach all activities as a measure of your intelligence, talent, or worth, then your overly severe attitude will limit you. Your actions will show either how you are competent or how you are not. But if you do things from the perspective of a beginner, then there are many possibilities. You may learn new things, make friends, discover something you’re curious about, or just enjoy the moment. If your expectations are to try something, have fun, and see what it brings, there will always be something positive you can take home from an experience.”
Steps
The American psychologists suggest the following steps to “fail forward”:
First, identify your fear. What have you long wanted to try but were afraid of failing at? Going into another business like marketing, food, or pet stores? Automating your business with SAP, because Excel just cannot hack it anymore? Expanding into Vietnam or China, because the market is getting saturated locally?
Second, reverse your thinking and do it anyway. Brainstorm on ways to fail at this new venture as fast as you can. Let us try out our pet food concoctions on friends and colleagues. We can try many products of different tastes and textures and see if they work out. Go for a free trial of SAP, or try other alternatives for a week, and see if they are more suited to your expanding business than Excel. Tour manufacturing plants in Vietnam, choose the best partners, do several small trades, and see if they work out. If not, what improvements can be done?
Third, fail forward. You have done your explorations, so what have you discovered? Have you learned how to improve? If the beef chunks don’t work, perhaps you can try chicken for your pet food. Perhaps the beef is fine, but too spicy for dogs. Tweak the recipes until a product or two sells steadily, then you can seriously think about starting a small business. If Excel does not work, and SAP is too expensive, then perhaps you can try customizing features, or hiring your college nephew to program them. If the joint partnership does not work out, try to figure out why. Are the terms one-sided? Are there hidden or unexpected costs? What do you want to work on?
Fourth, find the next challenge. Once you have ironed out the problems, grab the next opportunity to try out your new idea. Expand your pet food business online. Once sales have been automated, how about automating accounting? You have a strong presence in Hanoi, how about expanding to Ho Chi Minh?
Next Friday: The leaders of a top car dealership trust in God and in one another.
Queena N. Lee-Chua is on the Board of Directors of the Ateneo de Manila University’s Family Business Development Center. Get her book “Successful Family Businesses” at the University Press (e-mail msanagustin@ateneo.edu). E-mail the author at blessbook.chua@gmail.com.