Let’s face this uncomfortable truth right now: Each parent has his or her favorite child.
Whether we admit it or not, or are even aware of it or not, all of us with more than one child have our personal—often secret—favorite. Perhaps it is the eldest, the most responsible of them all. The youngest, doted upon by everyone. The daughter, who can do no wrong in daddy’s eye. The valedictorian, whom mom is proudest of. The son who looks most like us, or the daughter who shares our temperament. The prettiest, the gentlest, the most caring, the one who never fails to remember our birthdays.
Siblings often complain that the patriarch or the matriarch favors one child. But since parents are only human, they cannot help themselves. Even Jesus, fully human and fully divine, had His favorites.
Jesus loves all of us humans equally, so much so that He gave up His life for all of us (equally). In the same vein, loving parents would willingly sacrifice themselves for their children (any child, not just the favorite).
But even Jesus, despite loving us all, chose certain people. A Jew Himself, He started His ministry among the Chosen People. Jesus transcended boundaries to establish His own religion (Christianity), but in the process, He did have to choose leaders from among His followers.
Apostles
Among the Chosen People, Jesus chose 12 apostles to accompany Him on His ministry. They ate with Him, walked with Him, witnessed much of His private life. They shared in His successes (such as the Palm Sunday triumph). Though all of them (except John the Beloved) deserted Him in His Passion (Judas betrayed Him, Peter denied Him), these apostles became the future stalwarts of the newly formed faith, brimming with courage and hope after receiving the Holy Spirit. Most apostles died a martyr’s death.
Among the 12 apostles, Jesus chose three: Simon (later Peter, the first Pope) and sons of Zebedee, James and John. They were among the first disciples Jesus called to. Peter and his brother Andrew, both fishermen, were the first two: “Come, follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.” (Matthew 4:19). Soon after, walking along the shore, Jesus called to James and John, also fishermen, who likewise immediately followed Him.
Though Andrew had spent time with John the Baptist and told Peter that Jesus was the Messiah (John 1:41), Andrew was not in the select circle of three. Only Peter, James, and John were chosen by Jesus to witness His glorious Transfiguration (Matthew 17:1-2).
As was fitting, only these three were the ones Jesus chose to be with Him at His lowest point, in the Garden of Gethsemane before He began His Agony. “He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled” (Luke 22:37).
Most beloved
Even among the three favored apostles, Jesus had his favorite: John the Beloved is the disciple He loved. Everyone else, including Peter, appeared to accept this. At the Last Supper, while John was “leaning on Jesus’ bosom,” Peter “beckoned” to John to ask Jesus which disciple would betray Him. Only John the Beloved (the favorite) had the guts to do so (John 13:23-25).
At the foot of the Cross, with John the only apostle left, Jesus entrusted His own Mother to him. “Woman, here is your son,” and to the Beloved disciple, “Here is your mother.” (John 19:26-27).
Afterward, Jesus gave a hint to Peter that the latter would die a martyr for Him. When Peter saw John the Beloved coming toward them, he asked Jesus what would happen to John.
Jesus’ answer is similar to that of a father whose favoritism is being questioned: “It’s none of your business.”
Here is how the Bible put it: Jesus said, “If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow me!” (John 21:21)
John the Beloved would be perhaps the only apostle not to die a (violent) martyr’s death. Legend has it he died of old age on the island of Patmos.
It is natural to have favorites. For a family business or any other enterprise, someone has to lead. Leaders have to be chosen. It is only when founders or bosses play favorites, without just cause in unfair situations, that troubles start.
Jesus never played favorites among his disciples, though at least once they did attempt to jostle with each other for leadership.
Next Friday: How did Jesus manage the power play among His disciples? What lessons we can learn? How can we avoid playing favorites?
Queena N. Lee-Chua is on the Board of Directors of Ateneo de Manila University’s Family Business Development Center. Get her book “Successful Family Businesses” at the University Press (e-mail msanagustin@ateneo.edu.) E-mail the author at blessbook.chua@gmail.com.