Soar to the skies or wallow in the mud!

One unforgettable day, I learned a very important lesson from no less than former Senate President Jovito R. Salonga, who walked me through the offices of Kilosbayan,  placed one hand on my shoulder, and said softly but clearly: “Dante, let us give this matter THE IMPORTANCE IT DESERVES.”

At that time, I became a member of the Board of Kilosbayan, an ethics-oriented, non-partisan organization, through his invitation.  Since then, I was involved in some projects and activities of the organization. Furthermore, when Senator Salonga became President of the Senate, he asked me to design a booklet of prayers, titled “Prayers of the Senators.” With the help of friend-designer Alfonso Ballesca, some design studies were presented to him, and he approved one study. One published booklet of Senators’ prayers led to another.

To cut the story short, there came a time when I casually asked him to make a statement to support the advocacy position of a friend. That’s when he looked me in the eye, stood up, walked me through the Kilosbayan offices to solemnly advise me: “Give this thing the importance it deserves.” He declined my request.

I thought I should be disappointed, but when I drove away from the Kilosbayan offices, upon reflection, I realized I received a priceless treasure of an advice from one of the wisest and most respected officials of the country.

There I was, trying to be ad hoc or casual about something that means so much to the Senator. He weighs his statement with utmost care and precision, because he knew his thoughts and words carry so much gravitas! And there I was, trying to make the moment inconsequential, asking for a “sound bite.”

I lost that one, after winning his approvals on many things. So, I remembered whispering: “Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.”

Thanks for this book I am reviewing, for giving me—and you our readers—a new mindset: Sometimes we win, sometimes we LEARN!”

The book has 12 chapters covering Humility, Reality, Responsibility, Improvement, Hope, Teachability, Adversity, Problems, Change, and Maturity.

These virtues are all tied to “learning.” For example “humility” is matched with the “spirit of learning”; “adversity” is the “catalyst for learning;” and “change,” the price of learning.

This book, among the most recent by John Maxwell, throbs with the heart of a coach and yet one who continues to learn himself.  Much respected UCLA Coach John Wooden volunteered to write the book’s foreword, after reading, with this remark: “What a tremendous idea. You can help people with this.” In the foreword, Coach Wooden says: “I also understood that I was an eternal student… This way of thinking is what keeps a mind young, optimistic, and joyful.”

This book is an easy read, as all Maxwell’s books are—but it doesn’t mean that they are simplistic or oversimplified. There is depth in every word and every anecdote, even extracts from famous cartoon characters.

The author tells this story about Charlie Brown of Peanuts fame:

In a favorite Peanuts comic strip, Charlie Brown walks away from Lucy after a baseball game, head down, totally dejected.

“Another ball game lost! Good grief!” Charlie moans. “I get tired of losing. Everything I do I lose.”

“Look at it this way, Charlie Brown,” Lucy replies. “We learn more from losing than we do when winning.”

“That makes me the smartest person in the world,” replies Charlie.

This simple comic strip leaves us a fresh way of looking at defeat or loss. “It makes us wiser.”

But why do we hate losing? Maxwell gives a simple answer: “When you lose, it hurts.” He gives some reasons. Losses cause us to be emotionally stuck. Losses keep us mentally defeated. Losses create a gap between “I should” and “I did.”

This is how football Coach Knute Rockne said: “One loss is good for the soul. Too many losses are not good for the coach.”

(On another matter, too many times being beaten by one School in terms of Bar passers, UP Law had to do something. To paraphrase the Rockne statement: “Producing good lawyers, not Bar topnotchers, is UP Diliman’s goal. But being beaten many times by Ateneo in the top ten list may not be good for the Law Dean.”)

Author Maxwell invites the readers to which category they belong: “Have you noticed how easily some people bounce back from losses? They learn from them and become even better than before. Meanwhile, others seem to fail, fall, and never get back up again.”

And the author makes a stunning observation: “I believe it isn’t due to timing, social status, the degree of adversity, or anything else outside of their control. The difference is on the inside. It’s the spirit of the individual. Those who profit from adversity possess a spirit of humility.”

One feature of this book are boxes in some pages, colored gray, with some quotations from winners in many fields. On the humility virtue, Ezra Taft Benton is quoted: “Pride is concerned about who is right. Humility is concerned about what is right.”

One more important thing about “learning” is the ability to have a realistic grip of life or a situation. Some do not learn because they are “on denial,” refusing to face up to realities. He prescribes building a strong foundation for character. He/she whose character has been built and fortified will most likely deal with losses and defeats as a learning opportunity, not as a moment of brooding over defeat.

The positive tone reverberates throughout the book. And yet Maxwell is not a peddler of illusion or fantasies. He asks us to come to grips to what life has to offer. In this book, he admits that “life is sometimes unfair,” so we must deal with it with a triumphant mood.

Executives grappling with major and minor business challenges, humans walking through the valley of frustrations, and others finding themselves in an unwanted mess—hold on to this truth in a little known quote from poet Carl Sandburg (which Maxwell misspells as Sandberg—oh, he is not perfect):

“There is an eagle in me that wants to soar and a hippopotamus in me that wants to wallow in the mud.” Your choice for an equally exhilarating experience: Soar or wallow! And remember the Salonga Advice: “Give this decision point the importance it deserves!”

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