National Bookstore’s purchasing director Alexandra “Xandra” Ramos-Padilla, 41, and marketing director Miguel Ramos, 44, vacationed in a secluded resort with their families in 2013. Miguel reveled in the remoteness and tranquillity. “Very few people,” he says, “no obligation to chat or dine with anyone. That’s my idea of real rest.”
Xandra, on the other hand, craved activity. “I was climbing the walls,” she says. “How would I survive without friends and socials?”
Their personalities are different, but the cousins complement each other. Xandra’s and Miguel’s fathers, Alfredo and Benjamin, are the sons of iconic founder Socorro Ramos.
Childhood
“I was sheltered as a kid,” Xandra says. She took her studies seriously, and up to now, reads widely. “I did not go to parties then, so now I’m making up for lost time!”—though she limits socials to two a week.
“I never went to parties,” says Miguel, “I didn’t feel like I missed anything.”
Unlike typical family business heirs, the cousins did not grow up together. Miguel studied college in the United States while Xandra was still in high school here. A free spirit, Miguel learned early on to fend for himself.
“Being in the US broadened my world view,” Miguel says. “It exposed me to many things.” When he came home during vacations and heard his friends gripe, he would say, “Those problems are not huge, I already confronted them years ago.”
At that time, Xandra hung out with cousin Trina Licauco-Alindogan, with whom she would later set up PowerBooks. Trina’s mother, Cecilia, is Socorro’s only daughter, and Trina is now the chair of the family business’ foundation.
During her college graduation dinner in 1994, Lola Socorro invited Xandra to work in National. “It’s impossible to say no to Lola,” but after some years, she did her MBA in Kellogg, then worked at Walmart in Arkansas.
“It was an eye opener.” Not just in business, but also in personal growth. Homesick at first, Xandra soon absorbed what she could to practice when she came back home.
Learning From Lola
Early on, of course, there was a learning curve. “I pride myself on my communication skills,” Xandra says. “But once, I wanted to encourage our janitress to write, so I dictated a letter to her. I did not check what she wrote, and when it was faxed, Lola saw that there were grammar errors. I felt so bad.”
Aside from being careful the next time, “I also learned to speak up. Lola says that if we have ideas, we have to say them. How else can we get ourselves heard?”
Xandra’s idols are women known for speaking up: Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg, who wrote “Lean In,” and Yahoo! CEO-president Marissa Mayer.
“I still have a lot to learn,” Xandra says, but she has proven herself enough that now, Lola would tell clients to deal directly with her. High praise, indeed.
When he came back from the US, Miguel first started working at Gift Gate, owned by his mother, Virgie. “There was no pressure to work in National,” but then he still decided to join the company.
“The work is interesting, and quite fun,” says Miguel. “Lots of potential, there are many things we can do.”
An avid reader and writer, Miguel helps Lola in her speeches and writing. “I channel Lola’s thoughts and ideas,” he says.
Miguel’s idol? Ironman Robert Downey Jr. A former alcoholic and addict, Downey found the strength to pick himself up and remake himself as Ironman, literally and figuratively.
“The story of Ironman was also Downey’s story,” Miguel says. “The rise and the fall. Ironman was perfectly cast.”
Best and worst
The best part of working in the fam biz? “I can carry on what Lola has started,” says Xandra. She exposes her primary-school daughter Sydney to the job. “Sydney has a desk beside mine in the office.”
“The best part? Honestly?” asks Miguel. “You are the boss. However lowly your position is, people know you are the boss, the son or the grandson of the boss.”
The worst part of being in a family business? “That you’re the boss!” repeats Miguel. “Everyone knows you are the boss, so some in middle management may not tell you what you really need to know. I’m lucky to have good people, but they’re not easy to find.”
For Xandra, the worst thing is being on call 24/7. “Even when I am home or resting, I’m still thinking business. I can’t turn off.”
Many family businesses do not survive past the first or second generation. National is now run by the third generation. How do they do it? “We make time for family,” says Xandra. “Parties, fashion shows with our cousins. On special occasions, we celebrate as a clan.”
Family first
“We don’t really fight,” says Xandra. “When we were younger, we avoided sensitive issues to avoid any fights.”
“Avoidance is not the most efficient way,” says Miguel. “If you’re going to fight, then you will fight. But fight fairly, and learn when to back down.”
If forced to choose, which will it be: Family or business? Both agree: Family first.
“In the end, we have to remember that we are cousins,” Xandra says, but adds, “But hey, I want to be financially comfortable, too!”
“We need money, but how much do we really need?” says Miguel. “A million? A billion? After a certain point, we don’t really need that much for a lifetime.”
Family members often fight over money, not just for themselves, but because they want to leave a sizable inheritance for their kids.
“I want my son Zayden to be able to make it his own way,” says Miguel. “Kids need to be resilient.”
Xandra and Miguel won’t force their kids into the fambiz. But if the next generation wants to do so, then they are required to work outside first.
“That way, our kids can really learn,” says Miguel, “and not be treated instantly as the boss.”
So when Sydney says, “I am better at math than Mommy!” Xandra says with pride, “She’s right!” Despite a full schedule, Xandra finds time to guide Sydney. “You told me that the best tutors are parents, so I am tutoring her!” she says. Sydney enjoys learning and likes school.
But Xandra does not want to be a tiger parent who pressures kids too much. Miguel agrees but adds, “If your child has the potential to enter Harvard, then of course, he has to try his best to do so!”
Zayden, still in primary school, had already written a book “The Hunters” when he was five years old. Most parents believe that their kids are geniuses, but in this case, it might actually be true.
Tune in next Friday, as we look at what family business can learn from Pope Francis.
Queena N. Lee-Chua is on the board of directors of Ateneo de Manila University’s Family Business Development Center. Get her book “Successful Family Businesses” at the University Press (tel. 4266001 loc 4613, e-mail msanagustin@ateneo.edu.). E-mail the author at blessbook@yahoo.com.