Help! My siblings are slackers-Part 2

Last week, we looked at a problem from a reader who works with his siblings in a family business.  Part of his letter says:

Q: Two siblings are not working hard.  One reports for work late (works half a day, while other siblings work 12 to 14 hours a day).  [Because of] his computer gaming addiction, he lacks sleep and gets up late for work.  [Another sibling] has no significant output and does not do her daily tasks in the field.

Older siblings want to terminate these two siblings.  Aside from being unproductive, these two are not setting good examples to other employees. Their work attitudes are jokes among the rank and file.  However, our parents do not want them terminated since they have families to support.

A: Last week, we saw how crucial it is for work expectations and conduct to be made clear to everyone, family or non-family, before they join the family business.  Since this has probably not been done in your case, then first, you, your parents, and your other siblings have to decide on what these standards are; and second, you have to communicate these clearly to your slacker siblings (SS).  Your parents call the shots, so ideally, they have to be the ones to do this unwelcome task.

If no family member can do so effectively, then an experienced outsider (such as a family business consultant) can guide everyone in the process.

Let us look at the SS issues more closely.  Your brother is a gaming addict, making him late for work.  You can try and convince him to start and end his gaming earlier, so he can come on time.  But this is just closing your eyes to the reality: your brother needs to deal with his addiction.

Bad news:  At his age, it is difficult to overcome any addiction.  Research shows that gaming addiction targets brain pleasure zones, giving a “high” similar to drugs, gambling and nicotine.

The cure for gaming addiction is similar to that of other addictions:  minimization or withdrawal, which can cause discomfort or pain.  Accompany your brother to a psychologist or psychiatrist.

In the Learning Section of the Philippine Daily Inquirer, I have written about how gaming addiction impacts people.  Google my articles “Rewiring the Brain” (July 22, 2012) and “Are You Addicted?” (July 29, 2012).   Get the book “Growing Up Wired” (available in National Book Store).

Your other SS is not productive.  Perhaps your sister doesn’t know how to do her job?  Train her.  Perhaps she has no idea what to look for?  Give her a checklist.  Perhaps she has no initiative?  Send an assistant to help.

What if the SS don’t shape up?  Don’t make problems worse:  Remove both SS immediately from crucial responsibilities.  Get other personnel to handle their jobs.

Should you remove your SS from the family business altogether?  They don’t contribute, anyway, and since they are already the butt of jokes, their absence is better than what little presence they show.

An option is to give the SS an allowance instead of a salary.  This means that you and the NSS will have to support the two SS all their lives.

This time, do it right:  inform the SS outright to live within their means.  Hopefully then, computer games will not be a priority for him, and she will learn to focus on her field work.

But first, you have to deal with your parents.

Your parents love all of you, and no parent wants any child to suffer.  But if parents excuse the faults of some kids, then all of their children suffer.

What happens if the SS do not change?  Reassure your parents that whatever happens, the SS will be taken care of.

“Do not worry, we promise to provide for their needs,” you can say, “Let’s meet as a family, look at our finances and projections, and decide on a reasonable and fair amount to satisfy everyone.”

Note:  Dividing family business earnings into reasonable amounts is not easy, and I’ll tackle it in a future column.  But for now, this way out may be better than the status quo.

If all else fails, you can sanction the SS since you and your siblings are adults who run the family business. Or if you can, leave the family business and strike out on your own.   All of you will suffer, yes, but everyone is hurting now (except the SS).  If the money stops flowing, I suspect your parents will realize the gravity of the situation.

Do this only as a last resort.  Start by showing the SS this two-part column.  God bless!  Tune in next Friday as we look at how to communicate effectively in the family business.

Queena N. Lee-Chua is on the Board of Directors of Ateneo de Manila University’s Family Business Development Center.  Her book “Successful Family Businesses” is available at the University Press (tel. 4266001 loc 4613, email [email protected].)  Email the author at [email protected].