Premarital sex among Filipino teenagers


OFWs working in North America or Europe are very much aware of rampant premarital sex among adolescents in their respective host countries. It is taken for granted that chastity is an old-fashioned virtue that young people can no longer practice because of the sexually permissive environment in which they live. Deep within, these OFWs—especially mothers who left their children behind—are still hoping and praying that their daughters and sons continue to value chastity and do not go the way of adolescents in many Western societies.

These concerned parents must do everything in their power to prevent the controversial RH Bill from being passed. The obsession with the promotion of artificial contraceptives among those pushing the so-called RH Bill is partly based on the assumption that we have to prevent unwanted pregnancies among adolescents who find it impossible to avoid premarital sex. This presupposition is based on the empirical observation that in many countries in the Western world, the majority of teenage girls have had sex before they get married. Those in favor of the RH Bill claim that they are just being “realists.” To them chastity is an impossible ideal. Well, I claim that they are defeatists. They are assuming that the youth in the Philippines cannot rise above their purely animal instincts. Before they even try, these lawmakers have given up on values and character education of the youth and the spiritual formation that can come from religious faith, whatever the creed.

It was very refreshing for me to read a blog of sports and media celebrity Chris Tiu. This famous basketball star wrote a commentary on an event he attended at the SMX of Mall of Asia where he joined some 8,000 people, most of them young women and men, to listen to Jason Evert, an American “Chastity” speaker. Mr. Evert was in the Philippines during the last days of February 2011 and spoke to different audiences in Metro Manila and Iloilo about the importance of fostering the virtue of chastity among the young people of the Philippines. Let us listen to what Chris Tiu said about the talk of Jason Evert.

“I never could have imagined myself attending a chastity talk although I am a believer of chastity and purity . . . Honestly, my understanding was that it was going to be a talk about love and relationships, not about chastity . . . The program started with a Holy Mass, after which I was introduced to Jason by a friend . . . Jason must have read what was going on in my mind and so he picked me as a volunteer at the beginning of his talk  He wanted to start his talk with the question, ‘How far is too far in a relationship?’ And to illustrate his point he made me put on a ‘Lady Gaga’ wig and acted out as if we were on a date. And in an instant, he lifted me upon his shoulders! One hand supporting me, and the other holding the mic! Deep inside, I was thinking, Wow! This guy is strong!  I stand at 5’11” and Jason was just about 5′ 7″. He was probably 30 lbs. lighter than I. Then he lifted me towards the end of the stage and asked me if he should still go on. Of course, I said NO! And he took me down and thanked me for volunteering!

“So, what’s his point? The point is not to put our loved ones in danger. We said that asking ‘how far can I go with a girl without sinning’ can be put more positively into ‘how far can I go with a girl in protecting her innocence.’ Think of it this way. He invited us to think of our future wife who may be dating another guy right now. How far do we want that guy to go with her? It is like Stephen Covey’s ‘thinking with the end in mind,’ the end here being marriage. Then he said, ‘Girls, do not allow a guy to lift the veil of your body before he lifts the veil on your head—in marriage.’

“To illustrate his point further he cited statistics in the US which show that those who married as virgins had a divorce rate of 70 percent less than those who were not. This was taken from a 700-page book compiling the results of a research that had the largest survey respondents. What made me think deeper was his analogy of our love for our future wife with the love of Christ for the Church. He quoted St. Paul’s letter to the Ephesians. I couldn’t help but think of Mel Gibson’s ‘The Passion of the Christ’ where he described how Jesus suffered for us, His Church, His Bride.  He said that that’s how much we have to be willing to suffer for our future wife. And part of that sacrifice is to live a chaste life now. We need to free ourselves so that we can love!”

Chris Tiu was especially impressed with the candor with which Jason spoke about his own personal experience. The eloquent speaker from the US was addressing especially the girls in the audience. He wanted to disabuse them of the idea that by giving in to the lustful desire of a boyfriend, they would be loved more. On the contrary, that would be the best way to lose his respect. To demonstrate this point, he told the story of a lady named Cristalina: “When she allowed her boyfriend to have sex with her, he started mistreating her and calling her names.  After a while, the usual excitement of being together was gone. Love had been confused with lust. Until her mom insisted and dragged her to attend a chastity talk. Finally, she decided to break off with the guy. Instead of engaging in sexual acts, what she did was she started writing love letters for her future husband whom she had not yet met. The letters indicated that ‘I did not give in to temptation tonight, because I am saving myself for you!’ After a few years, on her wedding day, she gave them all to her husband, who happened to be Jason himself! She also gave him a white candle with a fresh wick (as a symbol of preserving her body up to the time of marriage from her conversion).

I am sure there are numerous young women and men reading this article who can think as Chris Tiu does about the importance of chastity before marriage. They can distinguish between love and lust. They can have enough strength of character, reinforced by the grace from prayer and the Sacraments, so that chastity before marriage is not an impossible ideal for them. They can give the lie to the insulting presupposition of those pushing for artificial contraceptives that chastity before marriage is an impossible ideal.

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  • Vince B

    Ripped from Human Life International  – a  catholic prolife website. 
    Fundamentelists will always post from prolife websites/blogs and consider them as irrefutable fact. 

    note how the fundies try to divert the RH bill discussion to premarital sex and aids, rather than actual family planning. and use the business section to spread their dogma.

    fundamentalists tend to use fear mongering, pseudoscience and yes, the threat of eternal damnation regarding such topics.

  • Anonymous

    Shaman research and witch hunt stories. I’ve been using condoms for 15 years and 25 times a month and have never gotten anybody pregnant except when they wanted to (some women just want children from an intelligent and good looking male and some couples are infertile some times due to the man’s problem or genetics and want a donor). I used the Rhythm, mucus, temprature method on the 7th day and still got the girl pregnant (how? I don’t know other than my sperm surviving for almost 6 days).
    The most common causes of pregnancy with condoms is the tendency to only put it on when near climax or because the girl WANTS to get pregnant and pinches or punches a hole in it.
    Cut it out with the faux research and scare tactics out of the middle ages, Catholic birth control doesn’t work because it’s not meant to….
    Never have sex with a girl you have no intention or capacity of marrying and supporting, unless she’s just looking for genetic material. Otherwise JUST DON’T!

  • Anonymous

    Dr Villegas, you’re an excellent Economics researcher, but why does it fail when your data contradicts causes espoused by you or the Way? Woodrose graduates have one of the highest incidence of pre-marital pregnancies (as a percentage) among Philippine girls’ schools. I’ve been giving sex advice to 12 year olds since the 12 year old daughter of a friend (studying at a prominent Catholic school) got pregnant. My advice “Just Don’t!”

  • Anonymous

    Condom Failure Rate

    “24 sets of condoms tested and all failed” and almost 71% failed “In respect of one or more of the physical requirements of the specification, notably freedom from pinholes.” SABS report April 89.

    “Spillage from condoms occurs as much as 65% to 75% of the time.” Bjorklund and Gordon. Univ of Manitoba. Nov. 1990.

    “The rubber comprising latex condom has intrinsic voids about 5 microns in size.” The HIV virus is 0.1 micron. Roland, Rubber World. June 1993. Roland and Sobieski, Rubber Chemistry and Technology. Vol. 62, 1989.

    Condoms reduce the risk of HIV infection by about 70% if they are used “consistently and correctly” IPPF (International Planned Parenthood Federation) Medical Bulletin Feb. 1997.

    “It is not established whether the condom is as effective at preventing heterosexual transmission of HIV as it is for preventing conception.” “The level of protection approximates 87%, with a range depending upon the incidence (of HIV) among condom nonusers. Thus the condom’s efficacy at reducing heterosexual transmission may be comparable to or slightly lower than its effectiveness at preventing pregnancy.” Family Planning Perspectives, 1999.

    The failure rate for condoms in preventing pregnancy is 10%. K. Niswander. Manual of Obstetrics 1980.

    The ISO standard for condoms allows 2 per 350 to be defective (about six defects per thousand.) (Tough luck if you happen to be one of those six)

    “Increased condom use will increase the number of [HIV/AIDS] transmissions that result from condom failure” and “a vigorous condom promotion policy could increase rather than decrease unprotected sexual exposure if it has the unintended effect of encouraging a greater overall level of sexual activity.” “Condoms and seat belts: the parallels and the lessons” The Lancet, 29 Jan 2000

    In one test, 33% of latex condoms leaked HIV sized particles. Sexually Transmitted Diseases. vol.19. 1992

    Ontario Ministry of Health campaign to promote condoms by means of televised AIDS messages made respondents more inclined to use condoms but less inclined to avoid casual sexual partners. Wilde, Target Risk, PDE Publications, 1994.

    IPPF indicates that the risk of contracting AIDS during so-called “protected sex” approaches 100 percent as the number of episodes of sexual intercourse increases. Cates Medical Bulletin, IPPF 1997.

    The only sure ways to avoid sexual transmission of diseases (including AIDS, chlamydia, genital herpes, genital warts, gonorrhoea, hepatitis B, and syphilis) are not to have sex at all or to limit sex to one uninfected partner who is also monogamous. Food and Drug Administrationc (USA) Consumer Magazine Sep 1990.

  • Anonymous

    @ the defeatists posting their comments:

    So, should I say that since corruption is rampant in the government, we cannot and should not do anything about it? At the end of the day, it’s not “what happens” but “what ought to happen.” Ok, so people blab about how pre-marital sex is the “in” thing.. but along with it, so are divorce, or broken families, or disrespect for women. These things come in packages. So this is your reality – the truth is, one ought to say NO to premarital sex.

  • Anonymous

    Chastity with no sex?  You kidding?  That is against nature!  Besides, a woman can be a virgin while having sex for all you know.  How?  In today’s moral revolution, she can have a lesbian relationship with anyone for all the hopla about equality!  (A man is always a virgin. Why?  He’s got no hymen to tear!  Nyahahahaaa.  …sorry, got carried away). 

  • Nico Montinola

    Sex is the best feeling in the world! Better have a lot of it before you die!

    • Anonymous

      You cannot live by sex alone, say it to your daugther and go with the world full of everyday sex and found in the end to be not the best feeling in the world. Moderation and abstinence combine with responsibility is more better before you die.

    • Anonymous

      No, true love is the best feeling in the world. This may sound like a line from a feel good movie, but this is the truth.

      True love is about self-giving. But you cannot give yourself if you don’t own yourself – if you can’t control your sexual appetite… if you can only give in to base impulses… if you don’t know how to be faithful to your wife. The tragedy of people who don’t practice chastity is that they’ll never know authentic love. They die wihtout having lived.

      Sex is pleasurable, but in itself, it’s but fleeting. The goodness of sex in the context of authentic love is pleasurable, pure, and lasting.

  • Jules Carsula

    Promiscuity and pms exist because of the depraved and sin-laden nature humanity has. Even without RH Bill injecting more “scientific information” in young minds – they have access to a whole gamut of information of how sex is interpreted in media. (Example. imagine hearing a 5-yr old girl blurting out seemingly double-meaning katy perry song “I wanna see your $%*@…” to my shock!) This is the way of the world, and yet the Word astutely warns us to not be conformed to the patterns of this world. We can see the result of such wanton disregard for chastity and purity before marriage. Divorce left and right, broken families, single parents, disease – the cycle just repeats itself.  Just because one thinks everybody’s doing it doesn’t mean it is right.
    “One cannot scoop fire on ones lap and not be burned.” The knowledge about sex must also be accompanied by a well-rounded perspective and character and responsibility. Sex can only be enjoyed  in the safety, security and sanctity of marriage.

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